Social media has a big impact on how we see attractiveness and relationships. It changes the way we think about ourselves and others when it comes to attraction. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok fill our lives with edited pictures and lifestyles that can give us a distorted view of beauty and connection.

Here’s a breakdown of how this works:

Physical Attractiveness

• On social media, beauty is often shown in an unrealistic way.
• People use filters and edit their photos, making it hard to know what real beauty looks like.
• Many individuals compare themselves to these “perfect” images, which can hurt their self-esteem and body image.
• There’s a theory called "social comparison theory," which means we judge our worth by looking at how others present themselves. This makes us focus more on looks instead of inner qualities like kindness or intelligence.

Proximity

• Before social media, being close to someone physically (like living nearby) was important for attraction.
• Now, social media helps us connect with people far away, creating a false sense of closeness.
• We can have emotional conversations with someone we’ve never met, which can make us feel attached.
• For instance, chatting online can create strong feelings, even without meeting in person.

Familiarity

• Social media lets us see posts from people we may not know personally.
• Seeing someone’s updates regularly can make us feel like we know them, which might make them seem more attractive.
• The "mere exposure effect" says that when we see someone often, we are more likely to feel attracted to them, even if we only know them online.
• When people share the same interests, it can create communities that make us feel closer to each other.

Changing Connections

• Selective Connections:

  • Users can show only the best parts of their lives online, creating an illusion of a “perfect life.”
  • This makes it difficult to know what is real and what is produced.
  • It also changes what we find attractive, focusing more on looks and lifestyles rather than shared values or true compatibility.

• Instant Feedback:

  • Getting likes and comments can greatly affect how we see ourselves.
  • Positive attention on social media can make people feel better about their looks, which may lead to them seeking similar validation.
  • This can change personal standards for attractiveness, as popularity on social media can start to feel like it matters more than inner qualities.

• Impact on Relationships:

  • Online interactions can create a ‘swiping culture’ where finding potential partners feels more like shopping than connecting.
  • This can focus our attention on immediate attraction rather than forming deeper relationships.
  • Having too many choices can make it harder to find happiness in relationships because it complicates commitment.

Dating Changes

• Validation and Rejection:

  • Dating apps encourage quick judgments based on looks, often missing emotional connections.
  • Frequent rejection on these platforms can hurt how we see ourselves.

• Ghosting and Leading On:

  • Many online interactions can be short-lived, leading to feelings of disappointment and emotional distance.
  • When someone stops responding, it can create a sense of cynicism about relationships.

• Trends and Viral Content:

  • Trends on social media can push certain beauty standards that shape how we view attractiveness.
  • This means that what is “in” could change quickly, making lasting qualities seem less valuable.

Conclusion

The way social media affects our views on attractiveness shows how things have changed. We’ve moved from focusing on deep connections and physical presence to valuing online presence and looks. This can make it harder to create meaningful relationships. As we adjust to this new world, it’s important to recognize these influences and aim for genuine connections.